My Lord:
Romans 8:24, " For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? " Told to tell and this is how I tell it. Seven years has gone by and I see many things, but in this post, I see how hope abounds more as that filling faded. The message is the same always, but I am always trying to share what I learn by all that took place seven years ago and to this day. In the hope always that if anyone experiences what I did, that they might be able to find a witness that matches something in the testimony they have been given through the Holy Ghost. It was something I desired a lot in the beginning, and finding very little. Lord help me, help me tell about You. How you set me free from the bondage of sin and death not be free in sin, but to obey from heart and Go and Sin No More. EARNEST, noun ern'est. Seriousness; a reality; a real event; as opposed to jesting or feigned appearance. Take heed that this jest do not one day turn to earnest And given in earnest what I begg'd in jest. First fruits; that which is in advance, and gives promise of something to come (HOPE). Early fruit may be an earnest of fruit to follow. The first success in arms may be an earnest of future success. The christian's peace of mind in this life is an earnest of future peace and happiness. Hence earnest or earnest-money is a first payment or deposit giving promise or assurance of full payment. Hence the practice of giving an earnest to ratify a bargain. This sense of the word is primary, denoting that which goes before, or in advance. Thus the earnest of the spirit is given to saints, as a pledge or assurance of their future enjoyment of God's presence and favor. serious, grave, solemn, sedate, staid, sober, earnest mean not light or frivolous. Serious implies a concern for what really matters. A serious play about social injustice grave implies both seriousness and dignity in expression or attitude. Read the proclamation in a grave voice solemn suggests an impressive gravity utterly free from levity. A sad and solemn occasion sedate implies a composed and decorous seriousness. Remained sedate amid the commotion staid suggests a settled, accustomed sedateness and prim self-restraint. A quiet and staid community sober stresses seriousness of purpose and absence of levity or frivolity. A sober look at the state of our schools earnest suggests sincerity or often zealousness of purpose. An earnest reformer. When in the Spirit, filled for the first time, there was a perfect sense of the gravity, of the seriousness and the shortness of time. The seriousness of sin, regardless of what sin it was, unto death or not unto death. Sin is just like dirt, common and easy to find. While sin is just sin, clearly some are worse then others, just ask Judas and that special place reserved for him in hell. Speaking always of being sober, for this is synonymous with the word earnest. It was so powerful, that drive, that focus that was in me. Time is the great destroyer, like wind, water, cold and heat wear the hardest of rocks down to sand. I know what it was, I know it is still there but time keeps robbing me of that earnest, that prepayment of the Spirit that is to come to all who receive the Truth, acknowledge it, Repenting and receive the Holy Ghost. I have no doubt anyone who has been filled with the Holy Ghost knows what I speak. I cannot imagine it being different for anyone. The testimony each receive is, but the filling of the Spirit and the euphoria, the intoxication, the high of it, and the knowledge that it is departing. That this state will not remain but it will fade, is fading. I can not believe this is different for anyone. I also can not say it is isn't either. The high O' Lord and O' Lord the low. I find it strange, that to find like understanding of this, is so difficult, testimony of this so scarce. I have heard so many speak of other parts that align perfectly but the lack of testimony speaking of the filling, the receiving of that earnest payment. I do not have an answer for this. I just question it and can only ponder of it. Endure then is the test of time that is given to anyone. I know it is there, will I stand the test? Can I endure till the end? Will I heed the Commandments that will allow me to be able to do what must be done. Will diligence be found, will that fire lit, stay lit? The candle given, will you keep it hold of it? Can you, do you want to? Which part of the parable are you? The point that always needs made. Something given can be taken back. Something received can be lost. Something had can be neglected, forsaken, can be taken in vain. Like most understand, something just handed to you is easily mistreated, abused, neglected, forgotten. Without that struggle to obtain it there is no imprint left upon you. I hear this Truth plainly in the Words of Christ, " REMEMBER WHENCE THOU ART FALLEN ". It should have left an impression, having fallen, wallowed in filth and being set free, washed and seeing where you by your own foolish understanding put yourself. Yet despite the horror of it and the joy of being set free, one can still forget, lose sight of it. So many say utterly foolish things, irresistible grace, once you have it, you can not lose it. Why would anyone sell such ideas? Most for them who want a way that is easy or have turned from the Truth of what they had, needing a provision to be able to continue on as if nothing is wrong. Even when the Word tells all plainly, if you do not do this, you will lose this. Cognitive dissonance, the double minded, are able to hold to truths even though they completely contradict one another. Revelation 2:5, " Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent. " Again, which part of the parable are you? Each part expresses absolute Truth, something is given, but it is lost. This fact can be very upsetting, but it can also be the force that drives for many. If one will read the Truth and not try and mold it to fit a false reality, one will see that Truth and fight for it. Some hear, but they do not understand what they are hearing and so they put up no fight at all when the wicked one comes to remove what they heard and replace it with something worldly. That wisdom of man! Some receive the seed, the Word and immediately receive it with joy. But the Truth of the Word is not only to believe like so many just love to say, but it is to suffer also for His Name sake. No matter how small or great it is, the Truth stands. Many try to change it to fit their own lust but it is 100 percent impossible to change the Truth. So when tribulation or persecution comes BECAUSE OF THE TRUTH, they just as quickly offended by it. They turn back, let go, give it up, they do not endure and that candle that was lit is put out. Others receive but by the cares of the world, deceitfulness of riches, choke the Word. What that person received is lost, taken, given away, turn from, ignored, abused, forgotten, taken in vain. Just as it is written plainly for them who do take the Grace of God in vain. It can be received and neglected, made to be useless in ones life and with not effectual operation there is no fruit. Where there is not fruit, the branch that bears no fruit is cut off and cast into the fire, is destroyed. Then there are the them who do receive the seed, the Word, they understand that it is not all paid, all obeyed, all done for them. That there is no such evil lie that is true, once saved always saved. Born to sin, or some sin nature that keeps them from being able to obey from the heart. They understand they must do what is written, run a race, dig deep, study, affirm, approve, WORK, WORK, WORK, keep, maintain, follow, deny themselves, bear their own cross, suffer, pay the cost to build, stand fast, hold fast, move not, fight the good fight of a faith that WORKS by love and is proven by deeds, be diligent, war a good warfare, forget not, remember, yearn, thirst, hunger and ever other thing like to these things that are written in the book of the Lord. To WORK your own salvation with fear and trembling. To fear God and keep the Commandments. The understanding the it is righteousness, temperance, and the judgement to come. It is to be just, love mercy and to walk humbly with God. It is the weightier matters of the Law, judgement, mercy and faith. It is without spot, without wrinkle, without blemish. It is a clear conscience before God and all man. It is Name the Name of the Lord and depart from all iniquity. It is awake to righteousness and sin not. It is stand in awe and sin not. Without these things one will lose the candle, the light. For it is NOT irresistible, only someone who has never know it could say such a thing. Again, no one can give you what they do not themselves possess. Anyone can invent a thing, can say it is this way but they who have received it can say it is this and it is not that. They can hear when others speak truly of it, can recognize it by their very own experience having truly received. Many pretend for whatever reason they have for doing so. Many love misery and want others to join them. Many want to live a life FREE of the Truth for they desire that which is evil. As we speak evil becomes more normalized and what is good, right, acceptable and perfect is abnormal. Proper speech is hateful speech and hateful speech is proper. There is not mystery surrounding this Truth of turning of things upside down. This story is the oldest and nearly all understand the battle of good and evil. Many though are changing good into evil and evil into good. Yes that old book they love to mock, even them that say they believe. The part that always comes true, bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter, dark for light and light for dark, sin for good and and good for sin. Matthew 13:18, " Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower. Matthew 13:19 When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side. Matthew 13:20 But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; Matthew 13:21 Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended. Matthew 13:22 He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful. Matthhew 13:23 But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. " 2 Kings 21:13, " And I will stretch over Jerusalem the line of Samaria, and the plummet of the house of Ahab: and I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down. " Psalms 146:9, " The LORD preserveth the strangers; he relieveth the fatherless and widow: but the way of the wicked he turneth upside down. " Isaiah 24:1, " Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty, and maketh it waste, and turneth it upside down, and scattereth abroad the inhabitants thereof. " Isaiah 29:16, " Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter's clay: for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding? " Acts 17:6, " And when they found them not, they drew Jason and certain brethren unto the rulers of the city, crying, These that have turned the world upside down are come hither also; " Isaiah 5:20, " Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! " It robs, it steals, it kills, it destroys, day by day, moment by moment, it lies in wait always to see whom it can devour. If diligence is not kept, if the fight is not being engaged, if the Truth is sold for a pack of lies, the keeping will become less and the need will be less, the desire will be less, the thirst fades, the hunger fades. Yes, when in the Spirit it was easy, but where is the test in easy? Know it will not if one does nothing to keep it, to fight for it. One must be kept in the race through exhortation, to encourage self and hopefully find others of like mind who are about the power found in the Spirit, they who know it and who will exhort, will encourage to RUN! they who truly know the filling and the feeling of that which I speak. They will know all need to be encouraged to stay on the field of battle, to endure till the end. They know it is not done for them and that they with Christ can do all things if they truly desire it. Do not allow the cares of this world to choke out the Truth. DO NOT ALLOW THE CARES OF THIS WORLD TO CHOKE OUT THE TRUTH. Many are carried off by the cares of what is nothing, they invent reason to disobey even as they speak of Christ. They look for ways to do harm when it is be ye harmless as doves. Again, Stephen did not have to take the stoning, he could of thrown some back, taking some with him, did some evil for evil. If you truly listen you will hear the enemy in them that speak of the Truth, calling for evil to match evil. Do not be deceived, do not deceive yourselves, the love of the world is hatred towards God. No man of God becomes entangled in the cares of the world. So stop, listen to them that are doing all they can to drag you into it. Be ye aware, watch, quick to hear and slow to speak. Be ye wise indeed! Don't allow them to call you off by the wisdom of men. Remember be not moved, for they are begging you to move. Christ moved not, Stephen moved not, Paul moved not, Peter moved not. be not moved to evil. Obey, resist NOT evil, resist the devil. Do not resist God, obey, heed the warnings, pay attention. The call is greater then ever before and it will get worse. but rejoice in the Truth. Knowing, you clearly then see and hear. Rejoice in that seeing and hearing as they call you to the same excess of riot. Do not partake with them, withdraw thyself. Matthew 10:16, " Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. " Philippians 2:15, " That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; " Hebrews 7:26, " For such an high priest became us, who is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and made higher than the heavens; " Begging myself to RUN, to run every second of every day. To hold the Way, that One Way, to stand fast, to hold fast, to do all these things I have written thousands of times now. When the Lord arrives will I be standing fast, holding to the Truth, clinging to it with all my might? Will the light be found within? Do not doubt that the light can be extinguished. Do not allow the many to cause one to become slothful, to think that anything is being done for you without you WORKING with Him. But you be doing what must be done. Praying, taking the time to study, to read, to consider, to lean upon the Lord and ask. Name Him and depart from iniquity. Stand in awe and sin not. Awake to righteousness and sin not. Go and Sin No More. Obedience is far better than sacrifice! Run the race, affirm, study, prove, watch, wait, hold fast, stand fast, diligence, work, forget not, do, doer, lookup, fight, war, warfare, hold the line, dig deep, work out your own salvation with fear and tremble, O' do tremble. I shutter to think of the hell I was shown, and to be found there. To lose that other part of the payment, the reward, of what I was shown and that is to come to all who endure till the end. I cry, I plead with myself to keep, to maintain, to bind about my heart the Truth and let it not go. I cry, I plead with you, keep, maintain, be bound about with the Truth, grip up your loins, put ye on the armor and know what that armor truly is. Be ye STRONG in the Lord. Be ye like men! Put on the armor. Your fight is not with the flesh, but the SPIRIT. How do they keep ignoring it this Truth. Them who are calling you into the world to fight the flesh? Yet they speak of the Lord? DO NOT FALL AWAY, do not be carried off by them. Do not run to the same excess of riot. Speak not evil of no man. Do not be entangled in the cares of the world. 2 Timothy 2:4, " No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier. " Armor is what? Truth, Righteousness, Preparation, and Faith. These things will keep all the fiery darts that the devil will use to move you to do evil for evil, to call evil good. It is not done for you, you must put it on, no where does it say it is worn for you, that you are clothed in it but you put it on. You put om the mind of Christ, you walk as He walked, you deny thyself, you take up thine own cross and you follow. You war a good warfare, you dig deep, you strive to enter in, for no one is striving for you, no one is doing that work for you. Do not allow the earnest to become frivolous, disregarded, something that is carried for you. Do not allow anyone to carry your crown. Fight that good fight of faith working by love and proven by deeds. For it is sin unto death or obedience unto righteousness. The armor is TRUTH, RIGHTEOUSNESS and that righteousness comes from obedience to the Truth. Who is likened to a wise man? They who hear and do! They who hear and build upon that Truth heard. They are the ones who build upon the Rock and not the sand. They are the ones who will endure the storm, the tribulation and the persecution. They are the ones that have had the seed sown unto good ground and produce good fruit, some a hundred, some sixty, some thirty. For the slothful produce nothing, they bury their talent in the earth and for that they received the wage of the slothful. All that man has is taken and given to them that produce fruits worthy of repentance. Worthy of the price Christ paid on the cross. Make it worthy, give increase to whom it is due, owed, count the cost and pay it. For it is worth it and Christ is worthy. Magnify His Name in all that you do. Be a wise man! Do not let the seriousness go. How to hold unto something that must be kept? The Spirit lists where is lists and who knows where it listeth to? Again I express what I lived. When I was in the Spirit, not long after receiving it, I could fell it leaving, fading, it took months but I knew it was going and that broke me, it still breaks me. I still cry over it to this day. I was on my knees begging God to not take it from me. How could I keep going if this power I felt in me left? It was unbelievable, words can not do justice to it and it was just an earnest of what is to come. I have used the word tasted, for it was what happened. I just tasted of something so delicious and I want more. There is nothing on earth that tastes like it. No one on earth can make it, can create a dish so delightful. There is nothing I have ever eaten that has tasted like it. So looking to the world is a pointless work. Nothing in this life outside of serving the Truth will satisfy. No pleasure outside of fearing God and keeping His Commandments. So to keep it, just a spark of it, it is obedience. Written it is to put on the armor and we know that armor is Truth, Righteousness, Preparation and Faith. Put this on and you will be able, for through Christ all things are possible. Put ye on the mind of Christ. Put on the Truth, put on righteousness, Prepare as a bride truly does do, and be Faithful, have faith, show forth the fruits of faith. Add to faith, virtue, like Peter said. Let her become a good work within, being effectual, in operation and proving the fact of your state of being. To whom ye yield, ye are servants to whom ye obey. Ecclesiastes 12:1, " Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them; " Effusive - marked by the expression of great or excessive emotion or enthusiasm effusive praise, also being freely given such a earnest of what is to come and pouring freely, freely given, freely rising and proclaiming the Truth. Asking for nothing but begging others to do as Christ has said, deny thyself, take up thine own cross and follow. Repent, while there is time, while this short vapor of time that God has given to work this out, to find Him, and run the race set before us, Repent. For it is a race against time, for time is short. This life seems as if there is plenty of time but there is but a short time. Having heard, a short time is given to be effusive, to be explosive, to be about the business at hand, to tell of Him. To be constantly speaking, to devote ones heart, mind, body, soul and might to what truly matters. To be always speaking to thyself in psalms, in the Commandments, in the Truth. To be praising the Lord at every step. To not allow by whatever strength the Lord has given, for the earnest to be lost. Thirst, hunger, desire of thine heart, thy first love. When you truly love someone, what will you not give of yourself for them? Your heart, your mind, your body, your soul, your might, all your fight, all you possess, for these things are all a man possesses. These things are all he has to give truly, so what do you give them to? What are you chasing today? What are cares? What are the things you possess being spent on? Strive for the conscience clear before God and all men. Be bound to no man, but if you freely choose to be, or if by force you become bound, then keep thy promises, keep thy oaths, be faithful at all cost to the flesh. Do not allow lust to swerve you; rather with all earnest work it out. Take it patiently and wait on the Lord. bear the affliction, the test, the furnace all are called into. Acts 23:1, " And Paul, earnestly beholding the council, said, Men and brethren, I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day. " Acts 24:16, " And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men. " It is foolish to not be able to look up towards God, to have a head that is stiff necked, a heart that is hard as stone. Sin is the divide and it is a choice, for multitudes in the valley of decisions. Why will you chose destruction, why would anyone? How can this Truth be lost? How can, how could anyone walk away from it, lose sight of it? How dare one be such a fool! Yet over and over we hear how many do. Many chose to forget by becoming friends with the world. It blinds, leads one away, one forgets how they were freed indeed. Those led out of Egypt forgot, they saw the parting of the sea, water flowing from a rock, mana falling from heaven and yet by the lust of the flesh, forgetting it all. Do not forget, do not lose the earnest, the hunger, the thirst. Do not let time and this world choke out the Word of God. Do say, look how many times they turned back and God forgave. Say I will not turn back, I will be diligent to keep what I have received. Make no room for provisions that will allow you to make the way crooked. Psalms 50:22, " Now consider this, ye that forget God, lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver. " Psalms 81:10, " I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt: open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it. Psalms 81:11 But my people would not hearken to my voice; and Israel would none of me. Psalms 81:12 So I gave them up unto their own hearts' lust: and they walked in their own counsels. Psalms 81:13 Oh that my people had hearkened unto me, and Israel had walked in my ways! Psalms 81:14 I should soon have subdued their enemies, and turned my hand against their adversaries. Psalms 81:15 The haters of the LORD should have submitted themselves unto him: but their time should have endured for ever. Psalms 81:16 He should have fed them also with the finest of the wheat: and with honey out of the rock should I have satisfied thee. " Fight, fight with all ones might, press towards that mark, that high calling, to be that master of it, perfection, holiness, godliness, righteous, to have that conscience clear before You O' Lord and all mankind. Do not be silent, do not be a candle lit and hidden, be that city built upon a hill for all to see, doing what is right. For to please God is all that matters and to please men is a fools errand. How dare one lose focus, when given so much. I rue such a day. Mea culpa, there is no excuse, I desire none, I desire only Truth, only You O" Lord. Let the fire burn, add to it, make it hot, make it move me ever in the direction that is the Way to the Truth to have Life. That earnest, the filling, such love and joy, such security and for it to be taken, for it to depart crushes, but does not hope grow greater? I lay on the floor crying and begging for it not to fade, that power, that Spirit of Power, knowing it was and I cried out to You O' Lord, I begged of You O' my Lord let this not be. Help me O' Lord, stay the course, be thy Government, thy Captain, be thy only Love. Being foolish, being weak, being base and being despised, but no other is faithful as Thee and I look to no other be Thee. I know no other can keep thee, Thou will never forsake thee, forgive any errors I have made along the Way. I knew and know it could not be a test if it were all done for me. I knew they lied, I heard the lies and recognized them, You opened my eyes, caused my ears to hear, You healed me, began a work in me. May it be brought to the conclusion that is right in Thy sight. Not that is is all done for me O' Lord but together, we as one can do all things. You O' Lord did make an open show of it and surely we rejoice for you O' Lord have overcome the world. Yes praise ye the Lord with thy all, all that a man has, He is worthy, He is worthy. Worthy Revelation 5:12, " Saying with a loud voice, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing. " Revelation 4:11, " Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. " Psalms 18:3, " I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies. " ( Digress in thought, I must say I was saved from hell, I was shortly to die and hell was my destination and of this I was saved indeed from hell that was literally days away. I HAVE NOT been crowned, I have not finished my race and until I do I have hope, despite that which fadeth and listeth to where I know not, hope grows. Is it not written we are saved by hope? I know and will not fall for that false hope of already having what I have not yet put on, yet so many do sell it. Until I enter in, I am not in, so I will run, do the works, produce the fruit, be able through Christ, denying myself for Him, not getting drunk so I can just make it through another day in this flesh, in this world. That is the strength, this is strength I have in Christ, that is given to them that love Him, that heard Him, that obey Him, that fight the good fight, hope grows, peace is found. The power given to anyone who will follow after Him, moral fortitude is power, is a gift, is a precious gift. Beseech them! Do not take for granted such a thing, I beseech myself, do not take this gift for granted for it can be, you can take it all in vain, you can hear in vain, you can pretend in vain, you can work in vain, you can forsake, it is not irresistible, for that is what I am conveying. It fades and if one is not willing to fight, it will be taken, lost, that candle lit will go out, it will be put out! How can I not digress even more O' Lord? When I hear them say " You, O' my Lord, did not come to morally reform anyone? " That we can live like devils and feign our love towards You, towards the Truth and have Life everlasting! You are not mocked, it is not possible, Thou knowest the heart of all men. Who tries to make others sit down in the middle of the battle? Who tries to rob others of that moral fortitude found only in You O' my Lord? How can I not be earnest, effusive, explosive, that carefulness to examine everything as closely as God be willing, to not only hold fast myself but to beg others to do likewise, to not be deceived, to not take lightly the Rock of Salvation? Work it out for ones self. ) Put on Christ, for to live is Christ and to die is gain, for it is far better to be in the presence of the Lord, to be with Him. For that earnest was just a taste of what is to come. How can I fathom that? I can not! Turn not back, lose not sight, do not allow anyone to carry you. Focus, focus and stay thy mind, be aware. Look at what is taking place and near not that mark, do not allow anything to sit upon the Throne of God and show itself to be God. What is marked before thy eyelits? What mark does thine hand of power possess? Philippians 1:21, " For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Philippians 1:22 But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not. Philippians 1:23 For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better: Phil 1:24 Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you. " Ezekiel 9:4, " And the LORD said unto him, Go through the midst of the city, through the midst of Jerusalem, and set a mark upon the foreheads of the men that sigh and that cry for all the abominations that be done in the midst thereof. " The end is a conscience clear. There is no conscience clear in unrighteousness. 1 Timothy 1:5, " Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned: " 1 Timothy 1:19, " Holding faith, and a good conscience; which some having put away concerning faith have made shipwreck: " 1 Timothy 3:9, " Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience. " 2 Corinthians 1:12, " For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward. " Working not only for thy own but others, set a mark, observe the upright man. To not tempt others, to not add guilt to anyone, to bear each their own burden. To help in the gain, the increase in a conscience clear, tempt no man, be aware of thine actions. Not searing, not hiding, but confess and forsake, Go and Sin No More. The Path lit, the Path then walked upon, the doing, the running, the working, the keeping, the maintaining, the fighting that good fight of a faith that works by love and is proven by deeds. Fly the banner, set the standard, the candle lit for all to see, work for the betterment of others. To see the light and become the light. Not that false light that is in the world, but rather say and so do. Be that doer, keep, maintain, be about the duty, fear God and keep the Commandments. Commending ourselves, to be noticed, to be working, so to every man's conscience. Doing it all in the sight of God Amen. Be aware! Watch! Pay Attention! Prepare! Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. A good parent shows the good example to follow. Raise them up in the hearing and the seeing and they will not depart from it in their older years. In this is a great lesson, will I see tomorrow what I see today and write of? By showing the true image, one gives increase to all who see it, be it that very day or fifty years later. It is working for the betterment of another to bare the true image, to be always flying the banner, to be upholding the standard as you have found it and say it, so be doing it. For all hypocrites will have their part 2 Corinthians 4:2, " But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. " Matthew 24:50, " The lord of that servant shall come in a day when he looketh not for him, and in an hour that he is not aware of, Matthew 24:51 And shall cut him asunder, and appoint him his portion with the hypocrites: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. " I think of the whistle I heard in my ear. I think how those nearest me thought so little of it when I told them what was happening. Then I read the definitions above " foolish, weak, base, despised " and it makes perfect sense. I had no idea how despised I was until I told others about the Lord. When you tell someone the Truth and because of all the lies, all the foolish ways you did live your life, that is the thing they knew and they surely despised, the Truth and not me, when I spoke the whole Truth. Back to that whistle in my ear. I searched on the internet for anything like it and on a site for tinnitus came up (of course) and as I was reading the comments I came across one! His name was Bernard, and he no doubt was looking for answers as I was and found himself on the same site as I found myself. I can not recall now but his post was older and he was speaking of an event that had happened years before this post he made. I immediately replied to his post and never heard back from him, sadly. The other people on the site of course thought both of us touched for saying the whistle/ringing we heard was God or the Spirit of. But none of there comments where bad, but questioning. What still stands out to this day was Bernard's testimony. He like myself became acutely aware when the whistle was heard. This was the confirmation I was looking for in someone else. It was exactly how I felt when I heard it. But it was not a whistle, it was a ring, just like the ring when ones ears were tuning, all have heard it I believe at some point in their life. He said, ( Bernard ) after finding the Lord he became very depressed and that after several years he was much better ( what made him better, what had he come to believe? ). That is all I can recall now that so much time has past. I checked on the website from time to time and never found a reply. Eventually I lost the site. I still have not found it again, and do not think even now that he ever returned to it. I at that time really needed/wanted to hear his testimony. To find similar testimony, and as he described it, the Lord invaded his life. How greatly I desired to find and hear testimony that I related to in any way. This was my witness of this experience I had and it was all based on this little ring in my ears and the fact we both felt the need to pay attention when we heard it. This man was telling me how depressed he became, and that at that time that I was filled with the Spirit, this seemed impossible to me. I was filled with such joy, and yet so low yes, but depressed like in the old man, not at all. I knew all these things that were about to happen to me and I was crying to God that it would not happen, yet joyful and very low. I even fought against it, trying to cause it to not happen. I testified of how foolish that was, but God does choose fools like me for reason, so I guess it was expected of me, maybe? I did not want to be depressed, I had been depressed all my life, entertaining the lusts of the flesh to cover up the reality of this world and the things I chose to do despite my conscience trying to warn me from the age of five. I was unwilling to ever forgive myself and I never would have and I do not think I have even now. I know Christ forgave me, despite my prayers to never be forgiven. I was told I was forgiven, so I know I was. It was something only He could forgive. This is the part of that beauty I found in Him, that mercy that the world has none of. I know if I look into is eyes one day that I will not see any remembrance of what He forgave me for. I have testified how I did not want to be here, I still do not want to be here seven years in. How much more so now, than then? Now knowing of God, having tasted of the Spirit and having Christ reveal Himself in me, I surely am caught in a betwixt. A moment so great that it dwarfed all the events prior to it and that seemed impossible to me. Yet at every turn it was greater and greater and I can not fathom how that can be, yet it was. The reveal of Christ was the greatest and I can not fathom anything greater, but I could not fathom the things prior to that reveal either to be anything greater than them. Am I making my point? Simply saying is this, to be with Christ is far greater, so to die truly is gain. Whether that real moment of being born again, or the last day one has in this world, either are great gain to any that truly love Christ. There has been many high and lows, should I testify of them? Should I only speak of the joy? I do not think so, so I have told it all, shared it all. I felt every emotion one can feel when I first found Christ, all the pain and all the joy in so finding Him. The knowing He heard and saw it all. He knew ever word that defiled this house. All the foul things I imagined and had pleasure in doing them or imagining them. The things I actually did entertain. The hate I expressed towards others. The lust that I had in the destruction of others, in their pain. The vision I was shown of a female in a pornographic image, the pain that was in her eyes looking back at me. It was crushing, it was destroying, I will never forget it, that look and I know for a fact that everyone who looks on them doing such things will feel and see the same pain as I. Knowing that they took pleasure in such a filthy image, one day. Not just the sexual destruction of another innocent soul, but for every single word that proceeds out of our mouths. The destruction of innocence is such an awful thing. Having pleasure in that destruction is the purest of evil. It is instant in the presence of the Lord, that knowing. Knowing what one has done and that none of it was ever hidden. When I read in a "twinkling of an eye", I know it is literal in meaning. It was instantaneous, instant, instantly, I was aware of the evil that I had committed and how it was know by Him. It was soul destroying and yet because the Lord had forgiven me for it, it was freeing at the very same time, or, all at once, I felt it all at once. Also to know that I am not the only one that knows what I know, that it is shared by another and that the other forgave me, forgives me. Is willing to look upon me and those things truly be forgotten, removed, washed. The pain and the joy, it was all at once, completely inconceivable, unreal by all the things I had experienced in my life up to that moment. To simply want this for others who like me have carried hell and destruction all their lives by choosing to be bound to sin, having pleasure in unrighteousness. 1 Corinthians 15:52, " In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. " How could I not relive all of this all of the time? The greatest thing I have ever known! How could I not tell, or how could I be silent? How could I bury such a thing no matter how it may sound to others? For that matter who cares what it sounds like, it is the Truth and the Truth must stand no matter what the case may be. For we are here to please God and not man. The pain of the vision set before me and the relief of being forgiven, I cried holy tears, they poured out of me like never before. I had no idea one could cry like that. I want it back even now, I could cry like that forever if God would allow me. On the floor as a dead man, crying out "thank You Lord", thank You over and over and over and over, thank You a million times over. Carrying all that I did for all that time, either hardens or breaks. I am grateful to God it broke me and that I found myself on my knees crying to Him. I love to say that I cry as I type, as I recall the pain and the joy of finding Him. I keep wanting to digress and I am sorry. Galatians 1:10, " For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ. " 1 Thessalonians 4:1, " Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more. " 2 Timothy 2:4, " No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier. " I hear always the debt I was forgiven and the parable of it. I was forgiven so much, how could I not forgive others their debt, anything? It matters not what, if I, then anyone, anything. Freely given, freely give, yes emotions will come and go, good and bad, anger and joy, but let not the sun go down upon thine anger, forgive, forgive it all and praise ye the Lord Amen. It is a joy to not just understand a parable, but to literally have lived it. Truly my cup overflowed and God help me to be a profitable servant for the rest of my days. For I owed much and Ye forgave me much. They forgiven much, love much. But as we read not all give freely as they had been given freely. Having tasted, wanting others to taste of it. Matthew 18:23, " Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. Matthew 18:24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. Matthew 18:25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. Matthew 18:26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Matthew 18:27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. Matthew 18:28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. Matthew 18:29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Matthew 18:30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. Matthew 18:31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. Matthew 18:32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Matthew 18:33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? Matthew 18:34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. Matthew 18:35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses. " I was indeed forgiven much and given much. How much I have been given compared to the parable, I have no idea. But I know unlike the lies I was told out of the gate. If I do not give an increase, then hell awaits. All that I have will be taken and given to another and I will be cast out into outer darkness, that great divide that separates all from the presence of the Lord. Truly, truly there will be weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. Truly it is not once given always having, as they who lie say. If you do not fight the good fight of faith that works by love and is proven by deeds, then you will not have any thing. It is not irresistible, one can resist and take it all in vain and there be many who sadly do so. I am fully aware I have been given much and fully aware that I can forsake it, neglect it and lose it! Matthew 25:14, " For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. Matthew 25:15 And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. Matthew 25:16 Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents. Matthew 25:17 And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. Matthew 25:18 But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money. Matthew 25:19 After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. Matthew 25:20 And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. Matthew 25:21 His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Matthew 25:22 He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. Matthew 25:23 His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Matthew 25:24 Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: Matthew 25:25 And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. Matthew 25:26 His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Matthew 25:27 Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. Matthew 25:28 Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. Matthew 25:29 For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. Matthew 25:30 And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. " I knew so much and yet always before it is the wearing down of it. I can fell it, just like I could feel the Spirit fading in me so long ago now. Time bearing down, the wind, the water, the cold, the heat all looking for ways to compromise my endurance. Back then I could feel it was all a test and I can feel it not, always being tested. What have you built on? What are you standing on? What are you holding fast to? For if it is not the Truth, then it will not endure the test. It does drive, does focus, does point, giving direction where to dig deeper, work harder, be more diligent, for our adversary is a roaring lion always looking to whom it can devour. It is always pressing, the wind is always blowing, the water is always looking for a crack to freeze in and the heat to melt it so more water can be added to it. Will the test of time break through that armor? Whom do you truly love? Whom truly sits upon the throne in the temple of God? Who do you truly yield yourself a servant to obey? For if there is a crack in that armor, evil will exploit it for all it is worth. Have ye heard? It is sin unto death or obedience unto righteousness! It is a free will choice to stand fast or to give in. God has made all men upright, have you heard? Have you herd it is decisions in a valley of decisions? You choose to resist not evil but to resist the devil, or not! You choose to resist not God and obey from the heart the doctrine received by Him, or not. Romans 6:16, " Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? " Ecclesiastes 7:29, " Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions. " Joel 3:14, " Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision: for the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision. " Matthew 5:39, " But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. " James 4:7, " Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. " Romans 6:17, " But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. " You know what is right, will you do that which is right? You borroweth, will you pay back? For the wicked borroweth and pay it back not. You were forgiven so very much, will you forgive so very much as well? It matters not if anyone knows it, God surely knows. Nothing is lost, nothing is missed, nothing is hid. It is all before Him, every single word ever spoke by any and all. It all was played back to me perfectly, the very emotions I felt while I thought a thing and made a decision about that thing. No plot is hatched that He does not know. Say it in thine heart and it is set in stone forever and only the Father of Lights has the power to erase it Amen. Psalms 37:21, " The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth. " The message remains the same. The hope increased by the fading of the Spirit by which I was originally filled with. Through this hope gained, salvation can be obtained. The course set and kept, fought for through diligence of heart and mind. Warring and good warfare, enduring til the end. Counting it all joy, the highs and the lows. The lessons, the trials of the heart that is called into a furnace of affliction. Hold the line and stand ye fast being not moved. Keep the faith, keep the hope alive by the Grace of God that is not just time, but a teacher. Teaching all who come to that throne of grace to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts and to live soberly, righteously and godly lives in this present world. Run you the race, abide. This is the Lords day, a day of rest, strive ye to enter in. It is the seventh day, the last day of the week. It is no other day regardless of what anyone says. The book of the Lord is the Truth and it is not changeable. This day God Almighty rested and made this day for man and not man for it. It is the fourth Commandment of God and if ye love Him, keep the Commandments. For this is love, that we walk in the Commandments. This is the love of God, that we keep His Commandments. This is the whole of the matter, fear God and keep the Commandments. This is that day, you chose to do good on this day, your decision, your choice. Seek, Repent and Sin No More. It is remission and not permission. We are the words we speak. Blessed be the Name of the Lord Amen and Amen... https://lesliewross.weebly.com/blog/earnest
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All That Matters Is Christ...Weeks before my death the Lord knocked upon my heart, I heard and opened the door. My life has been forever changed, a new man indeed. Me a wicked man saved by the Grace of God, no more that wicked man. Died at 43 and was given a choice to stay or go. If I stayed I had to tell of the Lord Jesus Christ and here I am. I share my walk with my Lord, my candle is lit and I pray it be a light for all to know the Lord Jesus is the Way to the Truth to have Life, Amen. Archives
October 2021
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